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While co-workers and friends busied themselves cranking out funding proposals today, I went to a technical assistance workshop regarding funding we've already received. Some days I could use a TA workshop on just being me.
28 February 2001
Several things over the past few days have convinced me that I need to expend more effort at carving out quiet time for myself. I haven't been walking recently which may account some for some "inappropriate" expenditures of energy recently. But more to the point, I have a need to break old patterns, rip out the fetid, cloying undergrowth and toss it in the compost pile. The Y has morning yoga...and there's a zendo just a few blocks away. Ah...the rub is actually doing anything at all...other than the same stale old stuff I've been doing.
26 February 2001
I have my regular stops along the web. Alamut is one. I'm not quite sure what Paul Perry does, except that he puts together a site that I can reliably depend upon for something interesting. Take his recent citation of a poem by Adrienne Rich, "A Valediction Forbidding Mourning". I got so turned on by reading it I rushed out last night and bought a used collection of her poems.
Now as for physical places to visit, I have a new regular destination. My friend Lisa has been touting Movie Image in downtown Berkeley as the rational alternative to Blockbuster. Okay, Lisa. You were right. After a too quick afternoon coffee, Drew accompanied me over to Movie Image where I was quickly won over. Even found a copy of Fritz Lang's silent "Woman In the Moon".
Drew and I also made a pact to go to a Mindfulness, Diversity and Social Change meeting in a few weeks. Yet another place to go.
25 February 2001
O yes. Let the world be your zendo.
25 February 2001
...was the name of the newspaper column that Donella Meadows wrote. She was the lead author of the famous Club of Rome report, "The Limits to Growth" which was a catalyst for lots of conversation and more arguments about the environment and our global future way way back in the 1970's. That's the early 1970's sports fans. Sadly, she died this past Tuesday. We desperately need more people who, as she did, gladly embrace the responsibilities of being global citizens.
I really appreciate the quote from her in this morning's Chronicle:
"It's an illusion to think we can have obscene wealth on the one hand and desperate poverty on the other, and have that be a world anybody - even the extremely wealthy - wants to live in".
I would like to believe her words to be true...that even the extremely wealthy - in an increasingly economically stratified world - would balk at the consequences of their "success". I'd like to believe that, but I don't.
I guess this opinion is based on my own experience growing up in and around Atlanta in the 1950's and '60's. Interacting with friends and family members during this period, I experienced first hand how white citizens rationalised their position of advantage in society as somehow being for the benefit of those who were disadvantaged, namely African-Americans. And, I heard it most memorably in my grandfather's voice when he explained to me why requiring black folk to ride in the back of the bus was for their "own good", in case of a bus accident. Like many, I guess my grandfather didn't know an essential lesson from history, that some "accidents" creep up on you from behind...or from the side.
Now, I'm ever so slowly coming round to the new book I'm reading that's triggering some of these memories, "Freedom's Daughters: The Unsung Heroines of the Civil Rights Movement from 1830 to 1970", by Lynne Olson. I'm not very far into its pages, but so far, it's an inspiring read, reminding me how much of official history is a triumph of shallowness over depth, form over substance. The quote from James Baldwin at the beginning of the book speaks loud:
"...The great force of history comes from the fact that we carry it within us, are unconsciously controlled by it in many ways, and history is literally present in all we do".
Amen.
22 February 2001
Lots of work this month, not much interest in writing. I have a full day of work today, then will take the g-daughter to Kaiser for her appointment. Afterwards, hopefully, we'll join up with Drew for pizza and beer. Nah, the g-daughter gets soda.
I did manage to get the household to the movies last night, watching "All About Eve" in a new 50th anniversary print at the U.C. Theatre. The U.C. remains one of my favourite film haunts, although of late I have not been haunting many films. There's a whole slew of new and recent releases that I've either missed or (while they're still in first release) haven't had time to see.
In all my busy-ness, I did manage to have lunch with a friend and co-worker yesterday. The company and the conversation was a blessing. I have just a handful of friends that I can discuss the whole complexity of my life with (is that what that is?) and the "being with" also allows me the opportunity to practice "listening", something I'm not always very good at. And the food was good too!
21 February 2001
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