QueryLily "...I would never have thought of asking How you'd got that peculiar name..."

visions of natalie and nan

I watched John Ford's The Searchers the other night. I've seen it many times over the years. I am always struck by the erotic element in my reaction to the scene near the end of the film, John Wayne's Ethan sweeping up Natalie Wood's Debbie. I can remember back even as a child watching the film, identifying as Debbie, swept up and held in a man's strong arms, although I had no words to express what I was feeling or why. That image remains powerful for me and potent. I have words for that feeling now and thinking back on my initial encounter with the film as a much younger version of myself, I can say in the words of Debbie, "I remember..."

The next day, I did just a little googlin', which led me unexpectedly to Jonathan Lethem and his book, Girl In Landscape, a book inspired by The Searchers.

You can read an interview with Lethem here. I've just begun reading Girl... and am finding it engrossing reading.

The images of Nan Goldin are more overt in their effect on me. For a long time, I've admired her work without ever getting close to purchasing one of the books of her photos. They remained a guilty browsing pleasure at Moe's or Cody's. No more. While I was out browsing around Thursday night, looking for the soundtrack of Queen of the Dammed for the grand-daughter and the Lethem book, I came across a remaindered volume of The Other Side and have been slowly digesting its feast of images.

The opening image in the book, David at Grove Street, Boston 1972, evoked one of those cry of recognition moments, as that easily could have been moi in that photo, albeit the moi of thirty years ago, and placed in Atlanta, not Boston. And...okay...I was never quite that pretty...nor thin.

You can find David... and other images and commentary here.

[19 July 2003] link?

Madame Satã

I spent part of the afternoon immersed in the world of world of Madame Satã, a film with raw power and sequins to spare.

[13 July 2003] link?

ongoing

Over the past several months, I have really been enjoying Tim Bray's essays and photos at ongoing. As an enthusiastic, but non-technical member of homo internetus, I have been rewarded numerous times by his writings on topics like Unicode, search, video blogging and today's installment on hunger. The latter reminding me that as far today's world goes, the barrier between starving peoples and sustenance is not a lack of food, but rather is largely the lacking of a humanistic ethics and morality in people with the power to effect meaningful change.

[12 July 2003] link?

Mr Madam

David Schneider's recounting of the life of Issan Tommy Dorsey in his book Street Zen has been a great inspiration for me. Indeed, it was that book that helped me begin to reconcile - if only a little bit - that side of me that treasures, er, shall we say, more than a little queening about with that which is drawn to the sharp quietness and austerity of the zendo.

But long before I had heard of Issan Dorsey and likely parallel to my first introduction to Zen Buddhism, I had made the acquaintance of Kenneth Marlowe through his book, Mr. Madam, Confessions of a Male Madam. Marlowe was a different sort of teacher and his book gave me - as an awkward teenager - a view into a world radically different from the world I lived in, but one in which my feelings and desires had both a name and a place.

[8 July 2003] link?

Crowded Out

Work has been so busy lately that it would seem that I have had very little else to do but...work. But that picture would be misleading, as appearances often are. What I have had to do is be more efficient in my down time which is not always easy for someone like moi who takes a certain instinctual pleasure in meandering. What I have also had to deal with is just letting some things fall by the wayside for a moment or two, and not get too stressed out having to let those things wait. Mainly, this has meant that I haven't been making the trek over to the City and sitting zazen. In fact, except for Pride Sunday, I haven't been to the City at all in recent weeks.

I have made more time for reading, though not enough, as the ever-growing list of books I am currently reading grows. And, I have managed to catch up on several movies that I missed when they were out in theatres, Spike Lee's The 25th Hour being the most noteworthy.

[5 July 2003] link?