27 June 2000

I started reading through Michael Warner's book last night. I love it when a book gives me gifts of observation and reflection like these:

"Women and gay people have been especially vulnerable to the shaming effects of isolation. Almost all children grow up in families that think of themselves and all their members as hetrosexual, and for some children this produces a profund and nameless estrangement, a sense of inner secrets and hidden shame. No amount of adult "acceptance" or progress in civil rights is likely to eliminate this experience of queerness for many children and adolescents. Later in life, they will be told that they are "closeted," as though they have been telling lies. They bear a special burden of disclosure. No wonder so much of gay culture seems marked by a primal encounter with shame, from the dramas of sadomasochism to the rhetoric of gay pride, or the newer "queer" politics.Ironically, plenty of moralists will then point to this theme of shame in gay life as though it were proof of something pathological in gay people. It seldom occurs to anyone that the dominant culture and its family environment should be held accountable for creating the inequalities of access and recognition that produce this sense of shame in the first place."

26 June 2000

Yesterday at the Pride Parade I stood next to a group of young twenty-somethings. When a car went past with the parade's grand marshalls, Del Martin and Phyllis Lyon, they were wondering aloud as to "why are these two old women riding in the parade?" Here's why .

After the parade, I walked on down to Stacey's and, in a gesture to address the significant gaps in my own knowledge regarding gay and lesbian history, purchased a copy of Martin Duberman's Stonewall.

Of course, every history has another way of telling the story.

Inspired by the quote below by Michael Warner, I took myself up to Cody's early this evening and purchased his book, The Trouble With Normal. The book is subtitled, "Sex, Politics, and the Ethics of Queer Life".

Also, I couldn't help but notice that Street Zen has been republished. Y'all go out and buy plenty of copies to read and give away to friends, foes and lovers.

Pride Day!

Hooray!!!!

Of course, four hours of parade was a little much. Still next year I have new inspiration, particularly from the very attractive boygirl who stood in front of me for most of the parade, to replace my drab self with the eternally vivacious spirit of Miss Sponge Cake. One might call it a case of premeditated alien self-abduction. Then again, one might not.

"At its best, gay pride is still an incomparable event. Suddenly the city works by a new set of rules. Look how many queer folks there are! You don't have to seek them through chat rooms, bars, or subtle glances. All you have to do is walk outside. There are all kinds of people. They don't share any kind of identity; they just live in a city that, for a single day, stops presuming the heterosexuality even of people who sleep with another sex. If they share anything, it is a history of disruption, of learning to live through shame, of having to overcome the resistance of the world in order to be here and to build this culture together. Not an identity, but a project for making a new world-an unpredictable world, in which people differ and there's always something new to learn.

Proud of what? Proud of that."

Michael Warner, answering the "proud of what?" question in The Village Voice's Queer Issue.

Last night, after seeing our final flick at the Victoria, Drew and I walked up to the Castro, wandered around, paid homage to the Good Sisters and watched the Dyke March make its way up to Market. It was thrilling to be in the midst of so many powerful women. Thank you, Drew, for a wonderful adventure in the City.

Drew also has a weblog.

24 June 2000

The Lesbian and Gay Film Fest is in full swing. My friend Drew and I went last Saturday and I got the grand-daughter to accompany me on Sunday. Welllll....if you must know she and I saw The Sissy Duckling and That's A Family.

Thursday night, Drew and I saw Crossing the Gender Divide. I was particularly touched by the documentary on intersexed individuals. Here's one intersexed individual's story.

Last night, due to some missed connections, I went alone to see Lost in the Pershing Point Hotel. Of course, Drew evidently found some consolation with Aimee Mann.

One of my regular reads is the English science mag New Scientist. The latest issue has a fascinating story by Alison Motluk on research on the links between finger sizes, sexual preferences, fertility and breast cancer. The article isn't yet available on the New Scientist site but I found a similar story elsewhere.

6 June 2000

The new NetFuture is up.

I had the pleasure of meeting NetFuture's Steve Talbott after his talk at the PLANETWORK conference in San Francisco in May. His talk was the most interesting of those I attended.

4 June 2000

Spending the morning listening to Georgie Fame go "Yeh Yeh" and Alan Price sing a cover of Screaming Jay Hawkins' "I Put A Spell On You", which made a big impression on me when I first heard it...and oohhh, that organ intro!

I've been reading through the Daniel Burston book on R. D. Laing. I usually find tidbits of meaning when reading anything by or about Laing. This time is no different...but the experience always leaves me feeling a bit envious of those who through training, talent, whatever, have the capacity to tie all those tidbits into something useful for others, not just grist for self-reflection.

Lucky, lucky. The boss is in Amsterdam. I have many pleasant memories of my 1985 visit....still, it would be nice to go again.

Perhaps, just perhaps, those of us who have spent a big part of our lives in the closet have an especial appreciation for how vital it is we honour those who have had the courage to live outside the box. Hmmmm...but that'd probably be the only good thing I could say about denying one's core being! In any case, I believe the world'd be a bettah place if there were fewer closet queens...speaking as one, that is.

Here's a movie for the g-d. It's playing at the Castro during the film fest, so maybe we can go.

3 June 2000

"I changed the kind of clothes I wear so you can't see me anywhere
And you can't spot me in a crowd, and you can't call my name out loud
I changed the kind of clothes I wear"

whoooeee...just a Saturday morning, listening to Lucinda Williams

You can now access papers from this past April's Computers Freedom and Privacy conference.

More angst from my troubled alter-ego.

30 May 2000

After a wonderful seven mile walk yesterday, seems I've snagged the g-d's head cold.

I'm hoping that Ella and Louis will be beacons to guide me out of my fog!

There was an interesting piece in this Sunday's New York Times Magazine about the aftermath of the brutal murder of PFC Barry Winchell. Seems that his boyfriend was actually a pre-op TG person. The article makes a compelling read. There was a quick response from the Servicemembers Legal Defense Network. Even if it's not "the facts" that the S.L.D.N. agrees with, it does - even if fictional - illustrates the tendency of advocates...and advertisers... to put people into neat little boxes, so to be more readily understood by the "general public". Unfortunately, the New York Times requires registration to link to their pages.

I'm starting a list of "P" words that get in the way of truth...
For starters: packaging, passion, politics, power, prejudice and pride. Are there any others?

Lots to choose from at this year's Lesbian and Gay Film Festival. The real challenge? Finding enough time to see everything I want to see.

And only a few more days left to see the restored "It Happened Here" at the Roxie. I've wanted to see this film since I first read about it, say around 1966.

Interesting new stuff to ponder on at Alamut.

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